Pain

I cried last night n i don't know why...let me put it this this way ..something happened which is not worth to tell about. Maybe it's the estrogen thingy...

Does life become more interesting when u have someone to lose? Do u feel that things will be interesting when more problems are involved? Do u feel alive when u hurt someone, use someone or love someone? Does ur life spiced up with all those intertwined plot u create?

my brain is bombarded with all these questions..
i think i should stop listening to these small voices in my head...it hurts.

Or maybe i like the pain, despair, sappy things subconciously...i wonder...or maybe its because im seeking for an attention?? Confusion..like Meredith Grey said in one of the episodes...maybe we r wired that way..maybe without pain we just don't feel real..

why do i keep hitting my head with a hammer? because it feels so good when i stop.